


the old guard

by lauryssamilkshakes



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, F/F, Immortals, Implied/Referenced Torture, The Old Guard AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28197270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauryssamilkshakes/pseuds/lauryssamilkshakes
Summary: Laurel Lance and Nyssa Raatko are happily married - and have been for centuries. Along with Helena Bertinelli, this immortal army follows their equally immortal leader, Dina Drake, in the fights that they think are right.But after one of their comrades makes a fatal lapse in judgement, Laurel and Nyssa find themselves trapped in their very worst nightmare - captured, as nothing more than lab rats. Luckily, the team has also just found its newest member, Sarah Diggle, so maybe all isn't lost.
Relationships: Nyssa al Ghul/Laurel Lance
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So this one is something I've been working on a while. It was only meant to be 5k, but is now on 11k and still not done. So I will probably post in two or three parts. 
> 
> You don't need to have watched The Old Guard for this to make sense - it follows the movie in terms of plot, but I'm hoping at least that the characters are still recognisable from Arrow.

Laurel heard the knock on the door first, jumping to her feet. She had been curled around Nyssa on the couch, who was immersed in a novel she’d bought at the airport, but Nyssa quickly followed Laurel’s suit, putting the book down on the coffee table. 

When Laurel opened the door, her face immediately split into a smile at the sight of Dina. “Hey, stranger.”

“Hey yourself,” Dina replied, going in for a hug, and then laughing as Laurel lifted her off her feet. Helena came in after Dina, closing the door behind them both.

“You look great, boss,” Laurel told her. “Love the hair.”

“Thanks! You, on the other hand, look okay,” Dina said with a grin.

“Gee, I love you too.”

Dina moved to Nyssa, who was waiting patiently for her hug, which was returned with gusto. Laurel smiled as Dina patted Nyssa’s cheek in greeting.

“You want some tea?”

“Make it Irish and I’m in,” Dina said, and Laurel shook her head fondly as Helena reached into her purse for her flask. 

“On it.”

“While you both ruin your livers,” Laurel said, going to the mini-fridge, “I have something for you, boss.” She unearthed a small container from beside the fridge.

“Oh yeah? Please tell me it’s halwa.”

“Five hundred, Helena,” Laurel said, and Helena grinned.

“All in, I see.”

"Excellent," said Dina. "I'm starving." 

“No, come on -” Nyssa said but it was half-hearted and she couldn’t suppress her smile even if she wanted to.

“Let’s settle this,” Laurel said firmly, handing Dina the container. Dina shook her head fondly as she sprawled on the armchair and uncovered a large square of Dina’s favourite sweet.

“All right.” Dina took a bite. “Mmmm. So good. Okay. Sesame seeds  _ and  _ tahini. Walnuts, not pistachios...” Helena let out a low whistle. Laurel refused to look defeated yet, though, and continued to pace. “Honey... okay, my guess? That Turkish place we went to in Rabat in - when was it? 2004?”

“Holy Mary, mother of God,” Laurel muttered under her breath, as Helena grabbed the money in front of her and waved them around Laurel’s face with glee. 

“On the money, every time,” Helena said, and Laurel was still smiling, somehow, as she glanced at Nyssa, who hastily tried to cover her laugh with a cough.

“Next time, habibti,” Nyssa said, as Dina shook her head with faint exasperation.

“You say that every time,” Laurel complained.

Dina nudged Laurel playfully. “Don’t be such a baby, Laurel.” 

“Admit it, boss,” Nyssa said, “you missed us.”

Dina didn’t hesitate. “I did.”

Silence fell as their fun and games came to an end, and as if to punctuate the point, Helena dropped a file on the coffee table. “It’s a job.”

“We don’t do repeats, Helena -”

“But we could do some good, Dina,” Nyssa interrupted, rather uncharacteristically. “Lord knows the world needs saving.”

“Why by us, though? Why should we feel like we owe this shithole of a planet anything?”

“Maybe,” Laurel said gently, “maybe we at least owe it to ourselves to hear Waller out.”

“Amanda Waller?” Dina asked, sitting up a little straighter, and Laurel was encouraged by that.

“Yeah. She’s ex-ARGUS now. Works freelance.”

“I don’t know,” Dina insisted. “I just - have a bad feeling about this. About what this could do to us.”

“I get that,” Laurel said, ever the conciliatory voice, “and that’s why Nyssa and I will have eyes and ears on you when you and Helena meet with her.”

It was clear from Dina’s sigh that she was relenting. “Fine.” Nyssa caught Laurel’s eye and they smiled, though stopping short of punching the air with victory - they weren’t quite there yet. “But only to hear her out. If anything goes sideways -”

“We’ll be there to back you up,” Laurel promised. “We got you, boss.”

“Always,” Nyssa added.

*

They set up the sniper rifle in the hotel room, Laurel watching from afar as Dina and Helena scoped out the market surrounding the cafe they would be meeting Waller at. 

Behind her was Nyssa, listening carefully to the chatter of the market below. 

"You have to admit," Nyssa said through the comms, "it's good to get back into the game." 

"Not so fast, Nyssa," came Dina's voice, and Laurel adjusted her scope to better catch Dina's face. "We're hearing her out. That's what was agreed. Don't count your eggs and all that."

Helena laughed. "Chickens, boss. It's chickens."

"Chickens? I take it that means you would like to order the chicken shawarma?" Amanda Waller came into view, and it was strange for Laurel to see her in anything other than a sharp suit - Waller was dressed in a leather jacket and jeans, rendering her virtually unrecognisable. 

"Just a coffee is fine, thanks," Dina said, extending her hand to Waller for a shake. "Dina."

"Amanda," Waller replied. 

"I almost didn't recognise you there without your power suit, Amanda," Helena said, shaking her hand too and then taking her seat at the table. 

"Got to blend in, I suppose," Waller said, speaking in a British accent. 

"I thought you had to be American to join ARGUS," Dina said, and Waller laughed. 

"Indeed. I was born in Star City. Then I went to live with my mother in Cornwall. Went back to Star City many years later and the rest, as they say, is history." 

"Why'd you leave ARGUS?" 

Wallet grimaced. "I needed some time off after my husband died." 

Dina shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "I'm sorry for your loss." 

"Thank you," Waller said with a perfunctory nod, Laurel could see, but also with the air of not wanting to talk about it. Laurel didn't blame her. 

"So how can we help you?" 

Waller spoke at length about the mission she wished to send the immortals on - a school being held hostage in Azerbaijan, in dire need of rescue. Laurel watched Dina's expression and knew from her face that they would take the job. Once actual people were involved, especially kids, it was hard for their leader to turn it down. 

"Given the… delicate political situation in Azerbaijan at present, our priority is getting the students out alive," Waller continued. "Money is no issue - Miss Bertinelli and I briefly discussed your going rates -" 

Dina got up, rather abruptly. "We'll invoice you when it's done," she said. 

"Good," said Waller, also getting to her feet when Helena followed suit. "Thank you for doing business with me." 

Nodding briefly, Dina downed her cup of coffee in one, then gestured for Helena to follow her. Laurel watched through her scope, focusing again on Waller, who unexpectedly raised her hand to wave and smile, as if looking directly at Laurel. 

Laurel huffed a laugh, shaking her head, then nudged Nyssa beside her to take a look. They shared a smile of mild exasperation but the warm kind. 

"What do you think, habibti?" Laurel asked softly. 

"I think we would be blaspheming if we did not use the blessing God gave us to do as much good as possible," Nyssa replied after a moment. Laurel felt the familiar tug of love in her heart at the woman at her side, so much so that she couldn't help but kiss her. 

"Your heart," Laurel murmured, placing her palm against her wife's chest, "is so full of kindness. Overflowing, in fact. This world is unworthy of it."

"Get a room, you two," Dina said over the comms, at the same time as Helena saying, "You two make me want to vomit", and Nyssa and Laurel dissolved into laughter. 

*

It was terrifying when everything went wrong. 

To be surrounded by soldiers armed to the teeth, who not only shot them repeatedly but used the four immortal women before them as target practice - it was fitting, in a way, for Laurel to be on the ground, dead, when shit indeed went sideways. 

They'd practiced this. They had had centuries to perfect playing dead, using the deadliest weapon of all in their immortality - pinpointing the precise moment their enemies’ grip on their weapons were relaxed. 

Of course, there was no way to practise being reborn, no textbook that could predict the brutality of this death or the next, and so something always threw Laurel, no matter how ready she was for those bullets - especially when it came to Nyssa. As Laurel's eyes opened, the bullet lodged in her forehead being ejected from her skin as it knitted up, Laurel immediately sought out her wife, careful to suppress her sigh of relief when she saw Nyssa's eyes open too. 

Slowly, the four of them took the time to get their bearings and get back on their feet, and the soldiers had no warning when swords and arrows were unleashed on them mercilessly. Dina unearthed her axe for good measure, grunting as she finished off the last of them. They all panted, Laurel with her sword still aloft, Nyssa's bow tensed, Helena's arm quivering as she pointed her crossbow at the feebly stirring soldier at her feet. 

"Everyone still with me?" Dina said, looking around. Helena made a noise of assent. 

"Na'am," Nyssa said after a moment. 

"Laurel?" 

"Yeah," Laurel said, dislodging a bullet from her jaw with her tongue. "Pissed as hell." 

"I don't understand," Nyssa said. "Where are the students?" 

"We've been set up, Nyssa," Dina said grimly. “There are no students.”

"Jesus," Laurel muttered under her breath. "You were right, boss." 

*

They got a freighter train towards Armenia - there was a safe house they had there, though Dina wondered aloud if they were perhaps chasing their tails. She told her team to get some sleep, and Laurel, grateful they'd all been able to change their clothes but still unable to shake the stench of blood in her nostrils, fell into a fitful, troubled slumber as she wound her arm around her wife's waist. 

She saw it in flashes - the girl, in army fatigues, the military weapon, and then the dagger, appearing from nowhere, slicing the girl's throat… her hands going up to try and stem the blood - 

"Ya allah," Nyssa breathed, jolted awake at the same time as Laurel - and when Laurel looked around she found Dina and Helena in similar states of shock.

"Another one?" Laurel said. 

"It can't be, not that quickly," Dina said, but Nyssa was already reaching for her notebook, sketching rapidly. 

"She was a black woman," Helena said. "Military…" 

"The dagger was definitely Pashtun and there was a woman near her in a chador," Nyssa added, continuing to sketch. 

"Gotta be Afghanistan, right?" Laurel said. "And the dog tags - Dig? Digger? Or something?" 

"Could you make out the company?" 

"Echo 2-1," Dina said in a hollow voice. "Gods. Why is there another one? Why now?" 

"I don't know, boss," Laurel said. "What do you think?"

"I think we should find Waller," Helena said. "We're wide out in the open here. One problem at a time." 

Nyssa shook her head. "No," she said, "we need to find this girl. Whoever she is - if she's like us… she needs us." Nyssa appealed to Laurel, gazing at her. "You remember what it was like at the beginning, hayati. How scared we both were. Imagine what she's going through." 

Helena shook her head. "We can't split our focus -" 

"We don't have to," Dina said, appearing to make up her mind and getting to her feet. "I'll go and retrieve her. You all get to Armenia. Go to the Charlie safe house there. Work on tracking Waller." 

"Are you sure, boss?" Helena asked. 

"If we're dreaming of her, she's dreaming of us. And once they figure out what she is, she'll lead them to us, so that doesn't leave us a lot of time." 

Dina held her hand out to Nyssa, and after adding the finishing touches, Nyssa tore out the page with the sketch and handed it to Dina.

"Christ, look at her. She's just a baby." Dina looked up at Helena. "Find Waller and keep on her ass, okay? I'll be in touch." 

With that she stepped out of the train, landed only somewhat unceremoniously and then began to walk away. 

*

Hours later, Laurel woke from another bout of fitful sleep, having been unable to get any rest on the train, to the smell of Nyssa’s cooking.

Sleepily, Laurel got to her feet, rubbing her eyes. Their safe house in Armenia was small, indescript, with just enough space for three single beds squeezed into the bedroom, and a couch and dining table in the living room, which doubled as a kitchen. 

Helena was at work on her laptop, typing away furiously. Nyssa was rummaging in the bag of groceries Laurel had bought earlier, finding a jar of sauce to add to the pasta. She tried a couple times to open it, but some things were beyond her, and Laurel knew that as she smiled. 

"You need me to open that for you, habibti?" Laurel asked quietly. 

"You have impeccable timing, my love," Nyssa replied, holding out the jar for her, and she couldn't hold back her amusement when Laurel opened it within two seconds. 

"It's all in the wrist," Laurel said. 

"So you say." Nyssa turned back to the pan on the stove, pouring in the sauce. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah. Just hope Dina finds this new one already. I hate the nightmares." 

Nyssa started to stir, slowly, and Laurel could tell she was contemplating something. 

"I know you feel these things more than any of us." 

"I wish I knew why," Laurel said with a sigh. "But she's scared, Nyssa. And I feel it too." After a moment Laurel leaned forward, putting her arms around Nyssa's waist. She felt safer there, in the warm presence of her wife. 

"It will be okay, Laurel," Nyssa said, leaning her forehead against Laurel's. "We will find the girl. And we will walk out of this shitstorm together like always." 

"Thank you," Laurel whispered, dropping a kiss on Nyssa's cheek. "Do you need me to help with anything?" 

"You could start on the washing up, if that's all right." 

Laurel was already rolling up her sleeves, while Helena's phone began to ring. "Hello?" said Helena. She met Laurel's eyes and gave her a thumbs up. "Boss, I'm gonna put you on speaker, okay?" 

"Hey, I got the new one," Dina said. 

"What's she like?" Nyssa asked as she stirred. 

There was a pause as if Dina was stifling a laugh. "Well, she stabbed me, so I say she has potential." 

Helena chuckled. "Atta girl. I like her already." 

"We're about to get on the plane. Should be with you in a few hours. Helena, any progress tracking down Waller?" 

"No, sorry, boss. She's good. She has to be, as a security expert - knows how to cover her tracks." 

"Everyone's got a weakness, Helena. I need you to find hers." 

"Copy that." 

"I'll see you all soon." 

*

Sarah Diggle, as it happened, proved likable from the jump. She and Dina had arrived looking a little worse for wear, as if they'd had a tussle or two on the plane, and Laurel could tell from how jumpy she herself had been the past couple hours that she was feeling Sarah's adrenaline. 

(She was so glad the whole empathy thing at least ended upon meeting.) 

"Why are you all in my dreams?" Sarah asked once they sat down at the dinner table. Laurel was on her feet, heaping pasta onto plates and handing them out, starting with Sarah. "Thanks." 

"We dream of each other - our deaths, the first ones, and what happens after - until we meet," Nyssa explained. "Then the dreams stop." 

"Why?" 

Nyssa smiled. "The why, Miss Diggle, is a question that will never be satisfactorily answered. It is one I ask most days - why us? Why immortality? Why did we dream of each other? Why are the rules the way they are?" 

Sarah simply looked more perplexed by Nyssa’s words. "I think the best way to look at it," Laurel said as she handed a plate to Dina and then sat down, "is that it’s like - destiny." 

"Some people are meant to find each other," Nyssa said, and Laurel smiled when she caught Nyssa's eye. 

"So let me get this straight -" 

The dinner table erupted with laughter and Sarah Diggle looked even more confused than she already was. "Kid," Dina said, taking a sip of her wine, "let me stop you right there. There's nothing straight going on here with any of us." 

Laurel murmured in assent and then couldn't help but wink at Nyssa. 

"Ameen to that," Nyssa agreed. 

"Yeah, you'll just get a lot of nervous gay laughter if you ask any of us for a straight answer," Helena said. 

Laurel watched as Nyssa turned to Sarah. "What she said. But our collective queerness aside, Ms Diggle, please do say what was on your mind." 

Sarah smiled - it was tentative, accompanied with the nervous brushing away of her braids from her face, but it was there, Laurel could see that much. Their newest addition had had a frown creasing on her forehead the moment she had arrived, even in her young age, but with the laughter around her, some of that tension was relieved.

"Do we really never die?" 

The smiles on the team's faces faded a bit. 

"Nothing lives forever," Laurel said. "Even if it feels like we've been alive for eternity.”

Nyssa gestured at herself and then Laurel. “Laurel and I met in 1020."

It took a moment for that to sink in. "So you're saying you're both -" 

Laurel grinned. "- over a thousand years old? Yes, but don't tell anyone." 

"What about you?" Sarah asked Helena. 

"Youngest recruit, from 1912."

"We call her the baby because she's only a century old," Nyssa said affectionately. 

"You're the oldest," Sarah said, looking at Dina.

Dina grimaced. "Yep." 

"How old are you?" 

"Old," Dina replied. 

" _ How _ old?" 

"Too old," Laurel said, intervening after catching Dina's eye. "Let's just say there's a reason Dina's in charge around here." 

Sarah nodded, seeming to accept this as an answer. 

"So how do you know we do die?" 

"Because one of us did," Dina said heavily. "His name was Thomas. I found him first. And one day we were in battle, fighting. And he got injured. Never got up. We don't know how or why, just that one day we stop healing and it's the end of the line. Our time to go."

There was silence for a moment. "It's a lot to take in," Nyssa said eventually. 

"And I did tell you that you wouldn't like all the answers you got, kid," Dina said. 

"You said we're immortal." The words came out of Sarah's mouth sounding almost accusatory. "You told me that. Just after shooting me in the head -" 

"Sorry about that," Dina said, but the tension in the air was palpable. "But I knew I wouldn't hurt you. In the long run I mean." 

"How? You just said that we all have an expiry date -" 

"You're too new," Helena interrupted. 

"Listen, Sarah," Laurel said. "Just because we're immortal doesn't mean we're invincible, or unstoppable. We're definitely not completely unkillable. Tommy is proof of that. And that's why -" Laurel paused for a moment, then reached out for Nyssa's hand to squeeze. "- that's why none of us take our lives for granted. Eventually our time will come, and that's an inevitability every human has to wrestle with."

"We just have to wait for longer is all," Nyssa added. 

"So you are the good guys." At Laurel's raised eyebrows, Sarah explained, "I wasn't sure when I met Dina. If I was on the right side of things." 

"I  _ did _ shoot you, so I can't say I blame you there," Dina conceded. 

"Goodness is subjective," Laurel said slowly. "It depends, I suppose, on the century, but - we fight for what we think is right." 

"Even when the righteous battles land us in deep shit," Dina muttered, swigging from the bottle of wine now. Her words were quiet, but there was no doubting that everyone heard. 

Nyssa got to her feet. "Sarah, you must be tired. Want me to show you where we all sleep?" 

Sarah nodded, getting up and following Nyssa to the sleeping quarters. 

"Listen, boss, I know you're pissed -" Laurel started to say, but Dina waved her away. 

"I said what I had to say on this, Laurel. But the person I'm blaming is Waller, and whoever the fuck she's working with who set us up." Dina looked up, met Laurel's eyes. "I can't really blame Nyssa for having more of a heart than me."

Laurel smiled. "Like I said. Overflowing with kindness." 

"Laurel, I love you, but enough with the sappy shit, please." 

Still grinning, though, Laurel then glanced at Helena, who had been nursing the same drink for half an hour. "You okay, Helena?" 

Helena nodded absently and picked at her food again with her fork, before she gave up trying to eat anymore and pushed her plate towards Laurel. 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah, not hungry. Eat it so Nyssa doesn't take it personally." 

Laurel laughed a little more easily at that, digging in and finishing what was on the plate in front of her in a matter of seconds - after all, she loved her wife's cooking. 

*

Later, Laurel was curling up around Nyssa, her arm wrapping around her wife's middle on the bed they shared. Laurel had her nose buried in the small of Nyssa's back, breathing in the familiar sweet smell of her beloved, listening to the sounds of her breathing which slowly lulled Laurel to sleep. 

She wasn't sure how long that lasted, though, when the sound of a loud gasp woke Laurel up with a start. 

"What is it?" Nyssa asked, the knife under her pillow already in her hand. 

"You okay, kid?" Helena said sleepily, and from over Nyssa's shoulder Laurel could just make out Dina's silhouette in the doorway. 

Sarah, who was now sitting bolt upright in her bed, clutched the comforter around her and seemed even smaller than before. "It's nothing. I'm sorry, guys. It was just a bad dream." 

Nyssa put her knife down under her pillow, then propped herself up on her elbow. "It's okay. You can tell us." 

At first Sarah was hesitant. "I dreamed of a woman in a coffin," she said slowly, and there was no mistaking Laurel and Dina's simultaneous sharp intakes of breath at her words. "She was screaming, trapped in this coffin underwater… and she would keep screaming until her lungs bled, pounding against the coffin until her knuckles wore away. And she would drown and then come back. Go through that whole thing over and over again… I saw flashes of it before I got here, but this was the clearest I've seen it so far." Sarah turned to Laurel. "She looked like you, a bit. But with shorter hair." 

"Her name was Serena," Laurel said quietly. "She was my twin. And one of us."

"Your  _ twin _ ?" 

"We never knew each other as kids. Before me and Nyssa found each other, it was Dina and Serena. Dina had been lost after Tommy died. She'd given up hope until she met Serena."

"They fought thousands of battles alongside each other," Nyssa continued. "Fighting the good fight all over the world." 

There was an audible sniff, and Laurel looked up to see Dina had gone to stand in front of the window near their beds, her head in her hands. 

"What happened?" Sarah asked Dina. 

"They were captured," Nyssa answered, when Dina didn't. "Captured freeing the so-called heretics being accused of witchcraft. They were hanged over and over for their crimes, but -" 

"They kept coming back to life," Sarah guessed. Nyssa nodded. "Probably just proved their case that they were witches." 

"That's exactly what happened," Laurel said. "And then… to separate them - they locked Serena in a coffin. The Iron Maiden. And they threw her into the ocean."

Sarah looked across the room at Dina. "Shit." 

"We spent decades looking for her," Dina said at last. "Never found her." 

"I feel her pain," Sarah told her. "Her rage. She feels insane." 

"She's been trapped in a box for five hundred years," Helena said unexpectedly. "Just living for that long would drive you mad. Let alone dying over and over like that at the bottom of the ocean." 

"That's why we work so hard to evade capture," Laurel explained. "A fate like my sister's… in many ways, it’s worse than death. I would not wish it on my worst and most bitter enemy. Nor would I wish the guilt that I feel to this day over what happened - because I should have been there to rescue her. And I wasn't." 

"It's not your fault, Laurel," Dina said softly. "It's mine. You weren't there. I was."

"You blame yourself?" Sarah asked. "Why?" 

"It would be bad enough if I just lost a soldier," Dina said quietly. "But she was my - my… partner, in every way imaginable. And I couldn't save her. I failed the love of my life and I think about that all the time. That is a nightmare I have to live through every day of my long life, and there is… nothing I can do to change that. Or end it."

Dina's eyes filled with tears, and the choking sound coming from the bed next to Laurel told her Sarah was crying too. 

"So that's it? We're doomed to an eternity of this?" 

"Sarah -" Laurel said, but Sarah was already getting to her feet. 

"I need some air," she said shakily, grabbing her jacket. 

"I'll talk to her," Laurel muttered immediately, but Dina held out her hand. 

"No, it's okay, I will. You guys get some rest." 

Before Laurel could object, Dina followed Sarah out the front door without another word. 

"She'll come round," Nyssa said after a moment. 

"Will she?" Helena said doubtfully. "I mean. She's not wrong. Being doomed to an eternity of life and death -" 

"Who says you're doomed?" Laurel interrupted. 

"If you're alone," Helena said quietly, "you're fucked. You'll outlive anyone you love and then who've you got?" 

"You've got us, of course," Nyssa said without skipping a beat, and once again Laurel felt a surge of love for her. "You're never going to be alone if you have your family around you." 

Helena looked suitably chastened. "Yeah, I know I do. But the kid is grieving her old life right now. You've both had a millennium to adjust - she's barely had five minutes." 

Laurel opened her mouth as if she was about to say something, but then at that moment a can fell into the open window of their bedroom. There was a hissing sound, as gas clouded the air and filled their lungs, and then all at once everything went black. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Gonna start out 2021 with a new chapter of this, and then all that will be left is a bit of smut :D

At Fuller Pharmaceuticals, Laurel breathed a sigh of relief when the scientist finally walked away, frowning at his clipboard and adjusting his glasses with one gloved hand. Turning a little on her side, she looked across her to the bed next to hers, and even though Nyssa was hooked up to a million machines just like Laurel, it was a relief to see her awake again. 

"Hey," Laurel said softly. 

"Are you okay, hayati?" Nyssa asked with concern in her eyes. "Laurel? What are you thinking about?" 

"Honestly, I was, uh, thinking about - simpler times. When it was just the two of us, and the biggest thing we had to worry about was reconciling being from wildly different worlds yet still finding each other…" 

"Dearest," Nyssa said with a smile, "it is like I told Ms Diggle. Some people are just meant to find each other. One way or another. And I realise, Laurel, that we are in hellish circumstances right now. But you have to know - I made you a promise, to spend however many centuries, or decades, or weeks, or days, or hours or even seconds I have left in my life with you. I swore an oath to you that I don't plan on breaking. Not now. Not ever."

Laurel smiled back, revelling in how Nyssa’s face lit up as she did so. “You know I love you, right?”

“I do, my love, but I will never tire of hearing it.”

“Remember Malta, habibti?”

“What time in Malta?” Nyssa asked, and Laurel met her gaze and arched her eyebrow. Laurel couldn’t help but chuckle because she could pinpoint the exact point when it dawned on Nyssa what she meant. A faint rosy blush coloured Nyssa’s cheeks and Laurel sighed - because even where they were, with the flecks of blood scattered on her forehead and her mussed up hair there was no doubt that Nyssa Raatko was the most beautiful woman Laurel had ever seen. “Ah.  _ That _ time in Malta.”

“I could really use that Hilton honeymoon suite right about now.”

“That would be nice. What was it you said? Or did I say it - that we weren’t gonna stop till we passed out?”

Laurel laughed. "It was me, definitely. I think we must have lasted… sixteen hours, if I recall correctly.” Nyssa smiled, shrugging nonchalantly. “What if… what if we said that - if we get out of here -”

“ _ When _ we get out of here,” Nyssa said firmly.

“When we get out of here,” Laurel said softly, “we… try breaking that record?”

“You promise?”

“You want me to cross my heart?” Laurel was probably deflecting a bit now, to fight off the emotion that threatened to break over her at any moment with a shaky smile that she knew Nyssa could see right through.

“I love you,” Nyssa whispered, “and we will be fine.  _ I _ promise.”

Laurel held onto that confession from her beloved as tightly as she could in her mind, as the scientist returned with even more invasive and painful tests. She kept in her screams for as long as she could, not because she was afraid of showing weakness but rather because she knew Nyssa couldn't bear to hear them - only after the fifth extraction, this one from Laurel's brain, there was nothing she could do to curb her agony as the needle pierced her temple. Laurel's screams prompted Nyssa's, prolonged when the scientist kept the needle in long after she had collected the tissue she needed. 

It was only when Laurel's lungs felt like they were being rubbed raw from the inside that the scientist finally seemed done with her. But then Laurel was filled with horror at the sight of the scientist raising a fresh needle and looking for the right spot on Nyssa. 

Desperately, Laurel wanted to tell the evil woman to fucking take her again, not to touch Nyssa, not to lay a hand on her or so help her God - but nothing came out of Laurel's mouth except for a strangled croaky sound. 

Suddenly the double doors nearest them burst open, and Laurel was shocked to see Dina, a gunshot wound at her side, unconscious, and Helena, who looked shaken but otherwise unhurt. 

"Shit," Laurel croaked. 

"Dina!" Nyssa shouted. 

Ignoring both of them, the soldiers manhandling Dina and Helena strapped them into the beds next to Laurel and Nyssa. The scientist was at Dina's side in an instant. 

"I want her alive," said another voice, and Laurel squinted as Max Fuller stepped into her line of sight. 

"I'll need an IV in her, and some antibiotics," the scientist said. 

"Good," Fuller said, clapping his hands together like he was a child. "Good. Work fast - I expect results. Even from the dying one. Even if you have to carve slices from these fuckers to do it." 

"This is not what was agreed," Helena said hotly. " _ None _ of this is -" 

Laurel was sure in that moment that her heart thudded to a complete halt. "What the fuck did you just say?" 

"I can explain," Helena said, but the pieces were already falling into place in Laurel's brain, and clearly in Nyssa's too. 

"Oh, Helena," Nyssa said in a hushed tone. "Helena. What have you done?" 

"I'll let you ladies talk this out while you still can," Fuller said with a smirk. "As for what was agreed - even if it wasn’t between you and Ms Waller, do I really strike you as a man to keep to my word?" 

With that, Fuller sauntered out of the lab, and Nyssa struggled against her restraints. "You selfish piece of  _ garbage _ , Helena!" 

"Nyssa," Laurel said, "don't." 

"No, Laurel - I will not sit here and watch you be tortured because our friend decided to betray us!" 

"They tortured you?" Helena said, and while she spoke, Dina began to stir. The scientist was still in the midst of changing Dina's bandage, before hooking her up to an IV bag. 

"Did you think Doctor Evil over here would make me a cup of tea?" 

To her credit, the scientist did not comment on this, instead pulling off his gloves and walking away. Helena grunted and tried to sit up. "I'm sorry, okay? This wasn't how it was supposed to go -" 

"Damn right it wasn't," Nyssa said. "I thought we were your family."

"I just wanted a way out, okay?" 

"And in the process," Laurel said bitterly, "you found the boss's instead." 

"I didn't know she wasn't healing," Helena said. "I wouldn't have shot her if I knew that -" 

" _ You _ shot her? As if being a traitor isn't enough on its own?" 

"Stop it," Dina said weakly, and she was clearly groggy and not fully lucid, but it was enough to quieten everyone for a moment. 

"Boss, you still with us?" Laurel said. "Boss?" 

"Still kicking," Dina said faintly. "But everything really fucking hurts." 

"You're going to be okay," Nyssa said, as she always did - but Laurel wondered if that was possible given their circumstances. 

"Oh, Nyssa," Dina said with the tiniest trace of a smile on her dull lips. "I say this with love, but you are a really shitty liar." 

"I'm sorry, boss," Helena said. "If I knew -" 

"- it wouldn't have changed a goddamn thing," Dina panted. "We both know that. More than anyone in this room." 

Laurel took this in in silence. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"You and Nyssa always had each other," Helena said. "From the beginning it was you and her. Always and forever. But me - all I had was my grief. And Dina too -" 

"Don't you fucking dare bring her into this," Laurel snarled. 

"I did want a way out," Dina admitted. "I was tired too. But it wasn’t supposed to be like this, Helena. Not with people who see us as nothing but lab rats. Just because I wanted an end doesn't mean I wanted it to be this messy. Or that you’d get our family involved. I can't believe you came to these people for answers." 

"I made a mistake." Helena looked at Laurel pleadingly, but Laurel had no sympathy now towards the woman she would have died for mere hours earlier.

"Quelle fucking surprise." 

“It just got out of hand. Waller didn't say anything about anyone getting hurt. And it was just meant to be me. None of you.”

“Shut up, Helena,” Dina said tiredly.

“Hear, hear,” Nyssa said.

“No, all of you, shut up! Listen!”

When they all quietened, Laurel could just about make out the sound of a scuffle in the next room, and it was only then she realised who was missing.

“Where’s Sarah?” Laurel said.

“She wanted out, got cold feet, so I gave her the car,” Dina said, panting and struggling to catch her breath as she groaned in pain. “But now I’m thinking -”

She was interrupted, though, when the double doors burst open and the soldiers guarding them fell on their faces in a haze of bullets - and in their wake was Sarah fucking Diggle. 

Laurel was so grateful to see Sarah that her face broke into a smile, to the point that she practically forgot she had been scowling two seconds earlier.

“What are you doing here?” Nyssa said.

“Not that we’re not thrilled to see you, of course -” Laurel interjected.

“I figured we’re not gonna be family until I get to save your asses, right?” Sarah said with a grin, putting a gun in Dina’s hand. “You don’t look so good, Dina.”

“No shit,” Dina said, deadpan, but then she raised her gun and fired two rounds at the soldier that was about to run inside the room. 

“You’ve still got it, boss,” Nyssa said with a wink.

“How did you find us?” Helena asked, with something of a pained expression on her face.

“Someone called Waller,” Sarah answered. “She said she’d made a huge mistake.” 

“Seems to be going around,” Laurel muttered.

Sarah just shrugged. “Anyway. She helped me get in here.” Then, as she unstrapped Dina’s other wrist, Sarah asked, “You okay to move?”

“I was ready yesterday, kid.”

Next to Dina was Laurel, who Sarah freed from her restraints, and then Laurel jumped up to do the same for Nyssa. The two of them found their shirts underneath their beds, hastily pulling them on and buttoning them up.

When Sarah started to undo Helena’s restraints, though, Helena shook her head. “Just leave me here, Sarah.”

“I’m not leaving anyone behind,” Sarah said firmly.

“First time for everything,” Nyssa said, but Dina held up her hand.

“No. She’s coming. We’re gonna end Fuller and then will all walk out of here in one piece. Same as always.”

“She sold us out, boss!” 

“I’m aware,” Dina said, grimacing in pain and scrunching her eyes shut as she got to her feet. “But she’s still one of us. Just like I am. Even though both of us have lost our way a bit.”

“Boss -”

“You and me, Helena, we’re still in this shitty game together, all right? Maybe I believed you all the times that you said that all we had was our own grief -”

“What are you talking about?” Nyssa demanded sharply. 

Dina didn’t answer, though - Helena did. “You wouldn’t understand, Nyssa. Sometimes I wonder if you even see anyone in the world beside your wife -”

“Don’t you fucking dare start on her,” Laurel warned, but Dina held up her hand in finality.

“You’re gonna have her back and she’ll have yours, Laurel, Nyssa, and that’s an order,” Dina interrupted, and after glancing at Nyssa, Laurel nodded resignedly, accepting the handgun Sarah handed to her. 

“Copy that.”

“All ready to roll?”

They moved out, and despite their fractured state as a team they still worked well together - they fought using the muscle memory that came with decades and centuries of being on the front lines flanking and protecting one another. 

But this time one of their number was injured, and that slowed them in a way they weren’t used to. Sarah took three bullets for Dina, shielding her, and Nyssa, getting the same idea, followed her lead, doing the same by covering Dina on her left. Laurel brought up the rear, following the team into the reception area of Fuller Incorporated - but they were then hit by tear gas, making their formation scatter. 

Faintly, Laurel could hear Helena saying that they were moving out, and Laurel reached around blindly in the gas clouding the air, searching increasingly desperately for her beloved’s wrist. When she found it she breathed a sigh of relief, but she then had the wind knocked out of her as two soldiers wrestled her to the floor and the bang of bullets sounded. Laurel felt a surge of adrenaline, white-hot with rage, as she kicked her assailants with such force that they were knocked off their feet; for good measure Laurel stamped on their throats, before the gas cleared and she could just make out Nyssa lying on the floor.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Laurel whispered. Nyssa was motionless, a bloodied wound on her head where she’d been shot, and all of a sudden and all at once, it hit her: she started to understand Helena’s forlorn expression as she spoke of loneliness and grief. “Nyssa. NYSSA! Awaken, my love. Please. Please don’t leave me. Not now. I can’t. I can’t do this without you, habibti. Habibti, please wake up. Habibti -”

With a gasp, Nyssa came back to life, and in a way so did Laurel, her intake of breath so sharp it was like Nyssa had breathed life into them both. Tears dripping down her cheeks, Laurel cradled Nyssa’s face, her jaw, her fingers meeting blood and dirt.

“Nyssa,” Laurel said reverently, and her love’s name tasted like a prayer on her tongue. “I thought I lost you.”

“I’m okay, ya Laurel. Let’s go - Dina needs us.”

In the end, their day only took one more strange turn, when Sarah defeated their enemy by running him out of a sixty-seventh storey window, crashing into a car. Nyssa helped Sarah to her feet, along with Helena, and they piled into a car and drove away. 

So much went on in such a short period of time that Laurel, in the passenger seat beside Nyssa, only realised her legs were shaking when her wife's hand found her knee to still it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this, please take the time to leave a comment! They make my heart sing, and honestly during these bleak times they make my life that little bit more tolerable. Thanks very much for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this one has some smut. Also it looks like I'm not finished with this, and there's another chapter after this one.

After driving for hours and ditching two cars, they agreed it would be best to split up for the night. Dina said it was to arouse less suspicion, but Laurel had a feeling it was also so she and Nyssa wouldn’t try to throttle Helena in the heat of the moment. They’d all agreed Sarah would be best to patch up Dina properly given her army experience, and Helena would be on watch (Laurel had tried very hard not to scoff at that).

But what this meant for Laurel and Nyssa was that they were alone at last. 

They weren't alone often - most of their safe houses didn't have the luxury of multiple bedrooms. When there weren't, being on their guard all the time meant the height of their physical intimacy was usually limited to snatched moments under the sheets when they were sure everyone was asleep, both of them scrambling to muffle the sounds of their quick, urgent lovemaking with their palms and the pillows surrounding them. 

Now though, in private, just the two of them, there were no barriers to how close they could get, and Laurel for one was glad about that. After Nyssa was shot in the head, Laurel never wanted to let her wife out of her sight again. 

It was just a cheap motel room, whatever they could find nearby, but it had a shower, and a clean bed. Neither Laurel nor Nyssa wasted any time in stripping off their clothes and getting into the shower together.

Relatively speaking, it was a small shower, and Nyssa had to bend her knees a little to fit comfortably, as she was slightly taller than Laurel. Nyssa had asked if Laurel wanted to take turns, but Laurel had not replied, her arms winding around Nyssa’s waist instead. Burying her face in the hollow of Nyssa’s neck, Laurel tried to answer her wife's question, but nothing came out. 

They didn't need words in a way - Nyssa shampooed Laurel's hair and her own in silence, while Laurel scrubbed ferociously at her own skin, until it had rubbed raw. She went far more gently on Nyssa, the washcloth they shared going in soothing motions on Nyssa's back, the warmth from the hot water and the scent of soap lingering in the air between them. 

Laurel didn’t realise she was crying until Nyssa started shushing her, her touch so gentle that Laurel’s heart just ached even more. Laurel was glad, in a way, that they were cramped in there, because she didn’t have to look at the blood-tinged water washing off them and down the drain. The  _ clink _ of a bullet, dislodged from Nyssa's hair, only served to remind Laurel how close she came to losing Nyssa, and that brought on a fresh wave of tears. 

“It’s okay, habibti,” Nyssa murmured, pressing a kiss on her crown. 

"I'm sorry, my darling, I don't -" 

Nyssa stopped her with a kiss. "You never, ever have to apologise to me, especially for simply being human." 

Again, words failed Laurel where they normally tumbled easily out of her mouth. And again, Laurel's instinct was to reach for her wife, to wrap her arms around Nyssa's middle - it was only then that she felt able to murmur a thank you into warm skin. 

“I’m here," Nyssa said quietly. "I have you.”

“I want you to have me,” Laurel told her, impatiently brushing away her tears. “Over and over again.”

Nyssa reached down, leaned her forehead against Laurel’s, taking her sweet time, waiting for Laurel to meet her eyes.

“I told you,” Nyssa said softly, “you have me forever.”

Laurel kissed her, tasting the salt of her wife’s tears and the faint metallic taste of blood on Nyssa’s tongue. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” She said the words as a prayer, as a heavenly refrain that spilled from her lips.

She was ready right then to get on her knees, to kneel at the altar of her beloved and say her grace while pressing her face into Nyssa's thigh - she longed to do so, in fact. But Nyssa got there first, took control, kissed her firmly, and Laurel needed that - she didn't realise how much she needed it, to let Nyssa take over, to press her against the cool shower wall, pin Laurel's wrists above her head and make her groan. Nyssa kissed down Laurel's neck, each touch of her lips another supplication of love, and Laurel could feel her nipples hardening as Nyssa tugged and teased them with her fingers. As she did so Nyssa knelt between Laurel's legs, her tongue darting out to lick the sweat off the inside of Laurel's thigh. 

Laurel groaned. She wanted Nyssa so badly it hurt, the ache for her wife so acute at her core that she was shaking, her breaths laboured before Nyssa had even really touched her. Laurel grabbed Nyssa's hand, first pressing a kiss on Nyssa’s palm, then placing it at the meeting of her thighs. Nyssa was the one to moan now, as two of her fingers slid through wetness, inside her, where Laurel needed her most. 

Far too soon, Nyssa withdrew her fingers and Laurel moaned in protest, but that quickly became a gasp when Nyssa's mouth took their place. Her tongue set Laurel's body aflame, making Laurel cry out, her hands fisting Nyssa's wet hair as she rocked her hips against her wife's mouth. And when Nyssa found Laurel's sweet spot, it didn't take much more for Laurel to feel like she had ascended to heaven itself, riding out the high of her pleasure for as long as she could. 

It was only when Laurel slowly began to float back to earth, Nyssa getting to her feet, peppering kisses on the nape of her neck, holding her close, that she realised the lump in her throat was still there. Far from expelling her unwanted emotion, her closeness with Nyssa had simply let the fear in her heart simmer more. 

"I'm here," Nyssa said again, somehow seeming to sense this. "I have you, habibti." 

"I know, my love," Laurel replied, kissing her, and she meant it. She was hungry for Nyssa now, her lips lingering on her wife's, until Nyssa was left gasping. Laurel's hand went down, to cup Nyssa's breast. Her mouth followed, kissing the tiny freckles scattered in the space between her breasts. 

Still Laurel's hunger was nowhere near satiated - it wouldn't be until she could taste Nyssa, until she could inhale the honeyed scent of her arousal and catch it on her tongue. While kissing up Nyssa's thigh Laurel bit softly into hot flesh, gratified at Nyssa's resultant whimper. She did it again, marking her territory, however temporary, leaving a trail of biting kisses up the inside of her thigh until she got to Nyssa's centre. God, she smelled so good - and Laurel said as much, told Nyssa this, the holy words dripping from her tongue in Arabic as she locked eyes with her wife, sure the ravenous look she could see in Nyssa's eyes was mirrored in her own. 

Laurel knew from centuries of practice how Nyssa liked it - hard and fast and unrelenting, and Laurel could do that, she could do that easily. And Laurel knew from each shuddering gasp and the way Nyssa's hips slammed into Laurel's jaw that Nyssa was close. There was something deeply primal in how Laurel relished this moment, and moments like this - something fitting, she thought, about Laurel devouring the sacrament of Nyssa's essence with wild abandon. She wasn't often possessive of Nyssa, but now with her wife at the mercy of her every touch and flick of her tongue, Laurel was grateful, so grateful, that the beautiful woman before her was no one else's but  _ hers _ . 

And all the while, Nyssa's fingers raked and tugged through Laurel's hair, Laurel returning the pressure by gripping the backs of Nyssa's thighs and digging in her nails, each pulling the other closer as Nyssa neared her climax. Even when Nyssa's body juddered to a halt, Laurel only paused for a second, before getting to her feet, watching as Nyssa floated back to earth, back to  _ her _ . 

Later, when they'd towelled off, changed into pyjamas and got into bed together, Nyssa reached for Laurel's hands, both of them, and their fingers twined together, as tightly as vines. 

_ I could stay here forever,  _ Laurel thought wistfully. 

"Me too, hayati," Nyssa said, and it was only then that Laurel realised she had been thinking out loud. It made Laurel smile, really smile, for the first time in what felt like hours. 

"Hey," Laurel said softly, "Nyssa?"

"Laurel?" 

"Do you wanna go to -" 

"Yes," Nyssa interrupted, kissing Laurel. 

"You don't even know where I was going to say -" 

"I don't need to. If you said 'the ends of the earth' that would be good enough for me. You know I would go anywhere with you, ya Laurel." 

Of course, Laurel's face split into a smile at that. Her heart not only lifted but soared, and not for the first time she wondered if it was possible for her heart to explode from loving someone so very much. 

"But," Nyssa added, "out of interest - where were you going to say?" 

"Malta," Laurel admitted. "We have that record to beat, remember?" 

"Sixteen hours is hard to top." 

"Luckily for you, I'm easy to top, so sixteen hours will be a piece of cake." 

They both laughed at that, Nyssa hiding her face in Laurel's shoulder, Laurel revelling in the faint warmth of Nyssa’s cheeks and the pleasant hum of laughter still ensuing from her wife's mouth. 

"Are you okay, habibti?" Nyssa asked, and Laurel knew what she was really asking, which was if she was ready to talk. 

"Yes," Laurel said slowly. "I think. I suppose it was just - seeing the boss so vulnerable. I thought we were going to lose her. And then when that motherfucker shot  _ you _ , all I could think about was - what would happen if you didn't wake up." 

"You said it yourself, Laurel. Remember? You told Sarah that none of us are invincible. You were the one to tell her that that's why we don't take our lives for granted." 

Laurel sighed. "I know. But - it's more than that." 

Nyssa reached out, tucking some of Laurel's hair behind her ear thoughtfully, then stroking her cheek. "Tell me."

"When Sarah had the dream - about Serena. It reminded me of when we lost her." 

Nodding, Nyssa said, "I remember." 

"Just after we got Dina out of there, when we were planning our first…" Laurel grimaced for a moment. "Planning our first extraction of my sister. I was talking to Dina. Trying to calm her. And she asked me what I would have done if  _ my _ wife was thrown into the ocean the way Serena was." 

"What did you say?" 

"I told her the truth," Laurel said helplessly. "That I would have jumped into that ocean after you. And - and died a thousand times over, that I would have let the seas take me - I would have  _ begged  _ the waters to swallow me whole, because that fate, any fate, was better than the mere prospect of losing you." 

"Ya Laurel…" 

"And it was centuries ago, but I still remember when Dina asked me with the fucking tears in her eyes, Nyssa - she asked me if I thought she was weak for not doing the same. I told her that resisting the urge to do so was what made her far stronger than me, and thus the one worthiest of being our leader." 

"It is not a matter of strength," Nyssa said quietly. "We all handle grief differently. Look at Helena." 

"I know." 

"Do you, my love? Because I hear you speaking like this, talking of the possibility that my time may come before yours, of the helplessness you fear will follow -" 

"It isn’t hypothetical. I know that is how I will feel if I lose you, habibti." 

"And I know," Nyssa said gently, "that you would feel unable to move on out of devotion. To the life we have built together." 

Laurel shook her head. "Not just that. I am, and forever will be, hopelessly devoted to you, ya Nyssa." 

Nyssa smiled - it was tinged with sadness but a smile nonetheless, and Laurel found her lips upturning despite herself. 

"Devotion need not be devoid of hope, my love." 

"I don't understand." 

"I remember losing Serena too. And Tommy. Tommy - he said to me not to lose faith. Just before his dying breath, that is what he said. And he was my brother. I would have died for him a thousand times over." 

"As would I." 

"But in that moment he was asking me to do the opposite. To be stubborn and determined enough to live through his loss, our grief, to muddle through one way or another and to never lose hope." 

"But I don't know how I can do that if I lose you, ya Nyssa," Laurel said, and despite her efforts her voice cracked, and she could feel her chest being flooded with emotion. 

"Neither do I if I lose you, dearest," Nyssa admitted. "But just as I made a promise to you in our marriage - I would search for the strength within me, the devotion  _ you _ instilled and harnessed and caressed in me, to keep on living. For perhaps Helena was right and we are cursed with an eternal life… but we are also blessed in finding each other through it. And if I was cursed with losing you, or you me, that does not mean loving you was anything except a blessing. I would hold on to the blessings I had in this life that led me to you, rather than linger on ways to damn myself."

Several times Laurel opened and closed her mouth, trying to work out what to say but coming up empty. 

"Sancta Maria," Laurel breathed at last. "You are an incurable romantic." 

Nyssa shrugged and smiled somewhat bashfully. "I suppose you rub off on me every now and then." Laurel laughed, more freely than she had done in what felt like days. "Ya Laurel… if I asked you to do something for me, would you do it?" 

She knew what was coming, or rather Laurel could probably guess, but that didn't stop her saying immediately, "In a heartbeat." 

"When my time comes around - if you are here to witness it… whether in battle or if I turn grey before you do - I need you to do one thing for me." 

"I would do anything," Laurel told her earnestly.

"Keep me alive in your heart for as long as you continue to walk this earth. For me, there is no greater act of love, no clearer showing of devotion, no gesture of affirmation stronger than holding on to hope when your instinct is to abandon it upon loss. Promise me this, Laurel."

Tears trickled down Laurel's cheeks. "How do you contemplate such things so calmly?" Laurel whispered. 

Nyssa let out a watery chuckle. "I don't. The very thought of losing you - of you being taken from me - makes me… almost feral with the rage I would feel if that happened." 

"Your restraint is admirable," Laurel tried to quip, but the shaky breath she let out betrayed her attempt at a smile. Then, when she saw Nyssa's eyes shimmer with tears, Laurel didn't try to hide the wave of emotion that overtook her; she took Nyssa's hand into her own and kissed it. 

"If I lost you," Nyssa said in a trembling voice, "I am certain I would tear down every wall that stood between me and vengeance with my teeth. When I think of the earth being a darker place without you in it, the temptation is certainly there for me to say that that world can burn. But I know I could bring down others in doing so, innocents, our family, even. And that this would be the last thing you or anyone we love would want."

Reaching up, Laurel pushed some hair out of Nyssa’s face and regarded her with wonder. "How do you always know what to say?" 

"I don't," Nyssa said again. "I just… say what I say and then hope for the best, I suppose." 

"That's when I love you most," Laurel said, kissing her, losing herself in her wife. Laurel showed Nyssa she loved her, with her hands, her lips, her tongue, raining down kisses on every inch of her wife's body she touched, not just in devotion but in gratitude, because the tear in her immortal heart was finally beginning to knit together. 

Every kiss was sacrosanct, every moan Laurel delighted in eliciting from her wife living proof that the Divine existed and that both of them were right to have faith in the heavens above them. 

(They were really tired, though, so it wasn't surprising they passed out after a mere two hours. 

Some records were only broken, it seemed, in Malta.) 

*

Laurel woke the next morning to find Nyssa sprawled on top of her, her hair strewn over Laurel's shoulder, and Laurel was so content to see her wife sleeping soundly that she didn't have the heart to get up from under Nyssa. Carefully, Laurel dropped a kiss on Nyssa's temple, hoping that didn't quite wake her up - but it seemed Nyssa would always be a light sleeper. 

"Sorry," Laurel murmured, reaching up to stroke Nyssa's hair. "Didn't mean to wake you." 

"Not at all, dearest." Nyssa yawned, shifting a bit so she was back on her own pillow. "I hope you managed to sleep okay." 

"Yeah." Laurel had woken with a smile, but it started to fade when she remembered the events of yesterday, of the sheer level of pain she had experienced - not to mention the betrayal she felt. 

Nyssa seemed to hear Laurel thinking. "What is on your mind, hayati?" 

"A lot of things." Reaching up, Laurel touched Nyssa's cheek. "I don't know. Just wondering what we're going to do." 

"About Dina?" Nyssa got up for a moment, finding her phone on the bedside cabinet just as it pinged. "Sarah texted. Dina is fine. Sleeping. Apparently she said we can talk about Helena later today." 

"God,  _ Helena _ -" 

"I know," Nyssa said helplessly. "I can't believe she did what she did. I feel so -" 

"- betrayed? Me too, habibti." 

"Not just that. It's about all of us. As a team. A family. It's falling apart." 

Automatically Laurel opened up her arms and Nyssa fell into her wife's embrace, pressing her face into Laurel's midsection. Laurel wanted to console Nyssa, but she could not find the words, or maybe the words she could find felt hollow in her mind. 

“Do you think we’re going to survive this?” Nyssa asked after a moment, her voice muffled.

“You mean us as a family?” Laurel said, stroking Nyssa’s hair. “Or do you mean -"

"Hayati," Nyssa interrupted, sitting up, "I know that we - the two of us - can survive anything. Don't ever worry about that." Laurel smiled at that, not even bothering to hide her relief. "No, I mean… will we ever be able to trust Helena again?" 

"I don't know," Laurel said honestly. "But what I do know with absolute surety is that I trust  _ you _ . And this ordeal has only reminded me how many times, in our line of work, my life ends up in your hands." 

"And mine in yours. But I would have it no other way." 

"And speaking of -" Laurel caught both of Nyssa's hands in her own, letting their fingers lace together. Nyssa looked a little surprised, even more so when Laurel pushed at Nyssa's shoulders until Laurel was lying on top of Nyssa. "I never got to thank you for saving my life." 

Nyssa just laughed now. "Which time? Because I assure you, habibti, there's a list several millennia long." 

"Then I will start from the very first, and work my way down." Laurel kissed Nyssa's neck, then pulled down her nightgown to better access Nyssa's collarbone and her shoulder. Nyssa sighed contentedly, groaning softly when Laurel cupped her breast, fingered her hard nipples through thin fabric. 

Laurel was going slow now, the urgency of last night replaced with a slightly hazy, lazier feeling that came with morning sex - even with the knowledge that they needed to see to things later, there was the promise of hours alone together, and Laurel wasn't going to waste such an opportunity. Nyssa's hand reached out to touch Laurel's jaw, and impulsively Laurel kissed each of her wife's fingers and her palm and her knuckles, each touch of her lips with more reverence than the last. 

As she crawled down Nyssa's body, Laurel lifted the hem of Nyssa's nightgown and ducked her head under it. There was something more intimate about that, about the sight Laurel and only Laurel was privy to. She let out a little sigh as she prised apart Nyssa's knees, gently, so fucking grateful for her wife's tendency to sleep without underwear that Laurel was tempted to thank Jesus Himself. 

Laurel could see for herself how ready her wife was for her - how the glorious insatiable scent of Nyssa grew stronger the closer Laurel got to the parting of Nyssa's thighs. 

Laurel could taste sweat, smell something sweet, and as Laurel buried her nose into Nyssa's thigh she inhaled deeply, savouring the heavenly honeyed scent of her arousal, heady and damp in the air. 

Hooking both of Nyssa's thighs over Laurel's shoulders, Laurel pressed a kiss right over Nyssa's opening, instantly making Nyssa arch against her mouth. Laurel's hold on Nyssa's legs tightened, and her head was bowed - rightfully so, too, because making love to her wife  _ was _ like praying, better, even. Thinking this could never be blasphemy, in Laurel's mind, when the name of the woman above her tasted sacrosanct on Laurel's tongue. 

When Nyssa came she was quiet, more content, less frenzied than last night, which had felt closer to their first ever time together centuries ago. As Nyssa's body trembled to a halt and the final gasps of her climax left her lips, Nyssa reached up and over her head to take off her nightgown, and Laurel took up where she left off, kissed her way up Nyssa's abdomen, kissing in a line up between Nyssa's breasts until Laurel reached the column of her neck, and each time Laurel reached a sensitive spot Nyssa rewarded her with another groan. Then Nyssa tangled her fingers through Laurel's hair, bringing Laurel's face to her own so Nyssa could kiss her soundly on her lips, manoeuvring them both so Nyssa was straddling Laurel now. 

The look in Nyssa's eyes was so suddenly tender, so soft, that Laurel couldn't help but smile and raise her eyebrows a little. "What are you thinking about, habibti?" 

"How much you mean to me," Nyssa answered, without hesitation. "Though admittedly, that is usually what is on my mind." 

Laurel smiled. "I'm glad - but I meant more…" But she faltered then and Nyssa was the one to lift her brows in question now. "I need to know you're okay, Nyssa. After - everything."

"Now that I've had you to myself for entire hours, hayati," Nyssa said quietly, "I'm - far better than okay." Laurel nodded, feeling a little more satisfied with that answer, but then, as she slipped her hand under the small of Laurel's back, Nyssa added, "There is just one thing, though." 

"Yeah?" Laurel managed to say in a level voice. 

"Laurel Lance…" Nyssa murmured. "Will you marry me?" 

For a moment Laurel was silent, then she smiled. She held up her ring finger and wiggled it. "Didn't I already answer that question several ages ago?" 

"You did," Nyssa said, "but as you said yourself. That was a long time ago." 

"You wanna renew our vows?" Laurel's eyes widened. 

"If you'll still have me," Nyssa said unnecessarily, and Laurel answered her question with a resounding kiss. 

"Yes, habibti," Laurel said breathlessly against Nyssa's lips. "A thousand times yes." Nyssa's eyes lit up, and Laurel could practically feel the weight being lifted off both of them in that moment as they embraced each other and their renewed future together. 

*

They met at a shisha bar not far from where Laurel and Nyssa were staying. It was one of those bars hidden in the back of a more legitimate-looking restaurant, and they went in through the back entrance. Helena had wanted to meet somewhere busy, and perhaps with good reason given the animosity that bubbled in the air when Laurel caught Helena’s eye once they arrived. But Laurel was glad in a way, too, because the haze of smoke, the gaggles of people waiting for tables, the chatter and music - all of it was a reassuring constant, much-needed as they navigated through uncharted territory. 

Together with Dina and Sarah, Laurel and Nyssa sat at a table in the far corner of the bar. Sitting in the opposite corner was Helena - Nyssa had told her curtly that she was not to leave their line of sight while they determined her fate. Helena had acquiesced, at least, smoking a cigarette as she nursed a glass of whisky.

Laurel ordered a milkshake for herself, and Sarah insisted on getting them all burgers and fries. When Nyssa’s fries arrived, Laurel reached over absentmindedly, dipped a fry in her milkshake and offered it to Nyssa. Nyssa chuckled and accepted it, and Dina rolled her eyes at the pair of them before grabbing three fries and dunking them in Laurel’s milkshake.

“Hey,” Laurel complained, but goodnaturedly, as she nudged Dina gently. 

"I don't understand why an apology isn't enough," Sarah said, and Laurel, Nyssa and Dina all chuckled in unison - a welcome moment of more lightness after talking about heavy shit. Dina leaned forward with some effort, picking up her vodka and downing it.

"When you get to be our age," Laurel said, still smiling, but Sarah was still frowning. "No, seriously. I've -  _ we've _ had Helena's back for nearly eighty years. Fought through thick and thin with her." 

“And before that,” Nyssa explained, “with the other immortals Dina found - Tommy and Serena - in the space of six whole millennia, no one every betrayed us.”

"There's got to be a punishment," Dina agreed.

"Just depends on what kind of sentence you think is befitting for an immortal traitor," Nyssa said, and Laurel nodded savagely, but then she caught Sarah's eye. 

"I know you think we're being patronising, Sarah -" 

Sarah shook her head. "I don't think it. I know it." 

"We're sorry," Dina said. "But we're not - saying it because we think we're better than you." 

"It's just the opposite, really," Laurel added. Sarah simply gave her a sceptical look.

"The fact that you have so much of your humanity intact," said Nyssa, "that you can be willing to forgive so readily - it says a great deal about your strength of character, Sarah." 

"In a good way or a bad way?" Sarah asked warily. 

"The very best way." 

For a second, Sarah smiled at the three of them, but then she glanced over at Helena and her smile faded. "She told me, you know. Helena. That first night with you guys - Helena told me. About her husband, their kids… how the people she loved most in the world turned against her because she didn't want to share the curse of such a long life with anyone. And because even if she did want to, she couldn't.”

“That’s why no one here is suggesting a permanent exile,” Dina explained. “Not yet, anyway.”

“But a simple apology isn’t going to cut it,” Laurel said firmly. “You’re right, Sarah, that this has cost Helena a lot. It’s just that it has cost us just as much, if not more.”

Ten minutes later they came to an agreement - of sorts - and reluctantly Laurel beckoned for Helena to join them at their table. 

As Helena hesitantly joined them, but stayed on her feet, Dina sat back in her chair.

“So we’ve decided,” Dina said, “that we need some time.”

“How much time?”

Dina glanced at Laurel and nodded. “One hundred years from now,” Laurel said, “meet us here.”

“If we still have a planet to return to, that is,” Nyssa said. “Until then, though, you’re on your own.”

Helena just shifted uncomfortably on the balls of her feet, staring at her shoes.

“For the record,” Sarah said, “I voted against this. A hundred years is excessive, if you ask me.”

“It’s more than I hoped,” Helena said in a solemn voice, “but far, far less than I deserve.”

“Oh, make no mistake, Helena, you deserve worse,” Nyssa muttered, but her words were said audibly because Helena winced.

Then Dina got to her feet, letting out a soft gasp of pain as she did so. Laurel automatically got half to her feet too, but Dina held up her hand, looking up at Helena. “I’m gonna miss you, though,” Dina said.

“Back atcha, boss,” Helena replied sadly. “I… won’t see you again, will I?”

Laurel watched as Dina smiled. “Have a little faith, Helena.”

Helena pulled Dina in for a hug, and then she extended her hand to Sarah to shake.

“Good luck, Sarah. You’re a good kid. I’m sure you’ll do great on the team.”

“She already has,” Nyssa snapped, and Helena took that as her cue to walk away, chancing only the tiniest of nods at Laurel as she went, which Laurel, despite all her anger, returned almost automatically.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this, please leave a little comment in the box below! I would absolutely love to hear what you think because The Old Guard has totally taken over my life, but I have also found my love for Lauryssa has skyrocketed coming up with this AU, which has been way too much fun :) 
> 
> Oh, and also, if you want to read a lil more that is a very dramatic and gay van speech, [I've got you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22021516/chapters/67544660) :D
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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